She dreams of being someone else..

Paistab, et mu energiavarud said lõpuks otsa ja ma ei jookse ringi nagu mõni segane. nüüd on jälle vaikus.

i'm exhausted all the time. praegu peaks raamatut lugema, aga mai suuda end selleks isegi sundida.

mai tea... pole midagi rääkida kah.

igav on üksi kodus olla. midagi pole teha.

i'm not gonna bitch around more.

maybe this is madness..

the world of black & white

Aeg jälle südant puistada.

tahaks nii väga rääkida, kõik koorma õlgadelt ära saada...

paistab, et praegu on selline eriti raske moment, et lihtsalt ei jaksa enam ega suuda. õhtuti üksi kodus istudes, kui just ei maga jälle, on üks moment kus ma olen energiat täis ja kõik on okey, aga siis istun maha ja jääb aega mõtlemiseks ja kõik lihtsalt... mai teagi, kukub kokku või midagi. ühel hetkel pisarad voolavad ja mai tea isegi miks. nii palju igast jama on lihtsalt.

...ma olen hale inimene.

ma naeran enda üle praegu. :'D

Reedel sai palju nalja. Kohati oli deja vu tunne. ja täpselt nagu arvasingi, et ega rõõmu ilma kurbuseta saa. ja siis oli muidugi topelt probleeme mis mõne jaoks õhtu rikkusid. seda nüüd küll absoluutselt vaja ei olnud. ja ma sain teada, et olen ikka väga mitu aastat täiesti naiivne olnud mõne asja suhtes.

krt, ma lootsin midagi rõõmsamat ka rääkida, et kõike mitte rikkuda, aga paistab et mai suuda midagi välja mõelda. i guess i'm hopeless.

-enter title here-

Homme on juba reede.

Saame kõik Koerus kokku. It's gonna be fun and sad at the same time.

Laupäeval on ära saatmine. Ma ei taha sellele üldse mõelda. me vist emaga nutame silmad peast ära.

Marika tuleb millalgi tagasi ja siis nad lähevad Riinaga koos ka ära.

Ma jõudsin eile alles mingi 23 koju ja niiiii väss oli, et läksin isegi vabatahtlikult kell 1 magama. unbeliveable.

Koolis olin elu koomas ikka. inka ajal õps koguaeg küsis ja ma magasin täiega, ega saanud millestki aru. Mingi hetk ma ärkasin jälle ellu ja isegi hea tuju oli. koolis! (omfg!! ei ole võimalik!!!! it's the end of the world!)

Lähen söön ahjus tehtud šokolaadi saiakest jäätisega. *drools*

Today As Tomorrow:

-trees for your forest

-two and a half years

-expatriates

-penelope

soooooo good songs. ainult, et mai leia neid kusagilt, et alla tõmmata. niuniu.

messages on sand

All this bitching and moaning.

We are stuck in this world that's not meant for me.

We are the people you hate.

What did you expect? A perfect child, raised by TV sets.

Abandoned every mile.

No one gives a shit as long as we smile.

Cut my life into pieces.

Days come and go but my feelings for you are forever.

Never give in, never give up.

I thought i was a fool for no one, but baby, now I'm a fool for you.

Why won't you die?

So many words can't describe my face.

Why is everything so fucking hard for me?

Keep on trying, I'm not dying so easily.

I tried to paint you a picture. The colors were all wrong. Black and white didn't fit you.

It's just a moment of change.

When I close my eyes.

I'll fly away, far away from here.

I'll be fine.

Just be who you are.

Live like you mean it, love until you feel it.

Nothing is real until it's gone.

I never knew what love was for.

Love will remain a mystery.

If I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know how to say how I feel.

Those three words are said too much. They're not enough.

Would you tell me how it could be any better than this?

You're all I want, you're all I need. You're everything.

I thought I lost you but you were never really there at all.

I give up forever to touch you.

All I can breathe is your life.

Everything's meant to be broken.

I just want you to know who I am.

You bleed just to know you're alive.

I've never been perfect but neither have you.

I can't be who you are.

No one would listen, cause no one else cared.

I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through.

If the silence takes you, I hope it takes me too.

I've got a hunger, twisting my stomach into knots.

We left our love in our summer skin.

You and me have seen everything to see.
The time for sleep is now.

It was one hundred degrees, as we sat beneath a willow tree.

My head is weak, my heart always speaks.

There's a tear in the fabric of your favorite dress.

Your heart is a river that flows from your chest.

There's no blame for how our love did slowly fade and now that it's gone it's like it wasn't there at all.

Lying awake at night.

The California sun cascading down my face.

So one last touch and then you'll go.

To tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites from the passenger seat as you are driving me home.

Can you tell me why you have been so sad?

Remembering when you were mine.

This is fact not fiction for the first time in years.

I'm reaching for the phone.

I should have given you a reason to stay.

A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere.

And all you see is where else you could be when you're at home.
There on the street are so many possibilities to not be alone

You may tire of me as our December sun is setting because I'm not who I used to be.

On the back of a motor bike with your arms outstretched, trying to take flight, leaving everything behind.

The gift of memory is an awful curse.

Last night I dreamt that I was you.

I remember when the days were long.

I've packed a change of clothes and it's time to move on.

And this is all that's left: The empty bottles, spent cigarettes.

to be continued...

ronrinesu

Dareka...tasukete..

i'm in a nightmare but i can't wake up because it's life

esimene koolipäev......

mul on ametlikult kooli depressioon.

mu kardetud õudused said tõeks. 11. klassi ma vist küll ei lõpeta.

nägin klassikaaslasi jälle.....ega rohkem ei tahaks ikka näha.

ainuke mõte mis keris peas terve aja: "please, someone just shoot me now!"

nüüd mul on õhtuti tegevust

crimson is my new favorite color..